


Final Loss

by Benedicthiddleston



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Reflection, Sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-05
Updated: 2014-04-05
Packaged: 2018-01-18 05:13:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1416361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Benedicthiddleston/pseuds/Benedicthiddleston
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With Spock's help, Jim reflects upon his friendship with Spock Prime.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Final Loss

**Author's Note:**

  * For [agdhani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/agdhani/gifts).



> Written for [Agdhani's Birthday](http://agdhani.livejournal.com/) over at the LJ community [1_Million_Words](http://1-million-words.livejournal.com/626072.html). HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGDHANI!!! I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Unbeta'd. Spock feels.

**Final Loss**

“Have you seen the Captain?”

“Nope, he walked out of here ten minutes ago. And don’t ask me where he went.”

Spock thanked Dr. McCoy for his help and went on his way, walking into the hall outside of Sickbay. Thinking quickly, Spock found the nearest ship computer and requested Captain Kirk’s location.

_Captain Kirk is on Engineering deck 3._

So that is exactly where Spock headed. Or tried to head.

“Commander, may I speak with you?” an Ensign stopped him before he could leave his current position. He assumed the Captain would still be in Engineering once he was finished with his current task.

“How may I assist you, Ensign?”

Their conversation ended exactly sixteen minutes later. He headed straight for Engineering in search of the Captain.

He reached the busiest place on the ship in under three minutes, however, his initial search of deck 3 of Engineering proved lacking – Captain Kirk could not be found.

Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott appeared through a nearby hatch and smiled up at the First Officer. “Aye, Commander. How may I help you?”

“Where is Captain Kirk?”

“That rascal? He left about eight minutes ago headed for the Science labs. I believe he was in search of you.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant.”

Scotty shrugged and continued on his way.

Spock sighed as he exited Engineering, accessing the ship’s computer in the turbolift, asking once again for Captain Kirk’s location.

_Captain Kirk is on Deck E, Science Lab 2._

As Science Lab 2 was dedicated to plant life creation and testing, Spock could only assume the Captain had, once again, gotten distracted in his search for, well, _him_.

However, the Captain was nowhere near where Spock had been even originally.

It seemed to be that the Captain, upon contemplation, did not use the ship’s computer to locate individuals. That alone made Spock’s eyebrow rise in fascination. How he had not realized this before was an interesting conjecture, and he hoped to learn more once he did track down his commanding officer.

He reached the dedicated wing called Science Lab 2 two minutes and thirty five seconds later, but upon entrance, no soul occupied its meager dimensions. _Still not where he should be_.

The plant life seemed very quiet, like it hadn’t been disturbed in a long time. However, Spock knew Lieutenant Sulu was often in the Science labs with what Sulu termed as ‘his babies’ even though they were, in fact, not ‘babies’ as far as Spock was concerned. But he kept that to himself. Humans were illogical.

With mild frustration growing – an illogical emotion, as Spock knew the Captain was on board the ship _somewhere_ and not out in space or in a shuttle or on any nearby planets – he headed for the nearest computer console, once again requesting the Captain’s location.

_Captain Kirk is on Deck G, officers quarters 7._

Spock’s eyes narrowed. If Captain Kirk had, in fact, been searching for him, then he would not have gone to the Captain’s private quarters. Spock did realize that they shared a private bathroom and it was likely the Captain was expecting to find his First Officer in his quarters during his time off.

That was, obviously, not the case.

So off Spock went, headed for his own personal quarters, his expectation of actually running into the Captain at around 96.7%.

His personal quarters were quiet when he reached them four point eight minutes later. He checked the lock on the bathroom and found it to be open. His knock on the Captain’s side of the bathroom produced lacking results.

No answer came.

Spock’s eyebrows furrowed inward, his confusion evident. He had been searching for the Captain for over forty five minutes now, and had still not come into contact with him.

With a sigh, he retreated back into his quarters and called up the computer’s location module once again. “Where is the location of Captain Kirk?”

 _Captain Kirk is on Deck G, Observation Deck_.

The observation deck on their level was smaller than all the other observational windows, however it was a frequent spot the Captain took refuge in when he needed personal time.

That fact made Spock sigh. He did not want to impede on the Captain’s personal time, especially when it was likely his search for his First Officer, likewise, had been of little importance.

Examining the necessity of the information Spock desired to present to the Captain, he decided it could not wait. He would have to break a personal rule not to interrupt the Captain’s private time. Especially while in the observation deck just down from their assigned quarters.

He had learned the information while on shift as Acting Captain, and had been holding onto it ever since walking off the bridge over two hours before. It was pertinent and imperative that the Captain knew.

A minute later, Spock was knocking on the door to the observation deck and familiar muffled voice allowing him to enter.

He stepped over the threshold into the darkened room, the only light from the space beyond. He found his Captain sitting cross-legged on the floor, chin in his hands, elbows on his knees. He looked like a kid intently thinking about anything.

“Captain.”

“Spock. Hi.”

“I did not mean to intrude on your personal time, however I have time sensitive information that-“

Kirk waved a hand and patted the space beside him. “I know you do. I get the feeling I already know what you are about to tell me.”

Spock had not assumed Kirk would know, but by the depressed vibes he was giving off, it was likely he knew.

“I assume you were contacted shortly after I was?”

“I was asleep when the call came. But I guess?”

He hesitated.

“Come on, Spock. Sit. You’ve been searching for me for a while now. You shouldn’t have to keep standing over me.”

However illogical it sounded to him, Spock took the advice and sat beside his Captain, eyes searching for any signs of weariness, exhaustion, fatigue, or any other signs of grief and mourning.

“He was a – a good friend.”

Spock only nodded. He hadn’t known his counterpart terribly well, but they had their moments. Like shortly after the _Narada_ incident, when they first met. Like during the two weeks Jim had been in a coma recovering from _dying_. Like the few times Spock had called inquiring about relationships and family. And his mother.

It had been a mutual understanding between two individuals – different, but same. They were technically the same person, as their DNA was exactly the same. But the Ambassador had been from another reality. He had died outside of that reality, and that alone made Spock – uneasy.

But Spock also knew that Kirk had been much more personal and much closer to his counterpart than he had. Kirk had weekly conversations with the Ambassador, even after he’d become sick. Now the connection was – lost. Forever.

“Hard to believe our last connection to another us, to another UNIVERSE! is just – gone.”

“We gained nothing from having that connection.”

“We couldn’t physically go there, no – which is a good thing, probably – but we learned new things. We did gain something. We gained a remarkable friend and a lasting relationship. And now he’s – gone.”

_Don’t mourn the dead, Jim. Mourn the living. Mourn us._

“He will be – missed.”

“Thanks for coming by and attempting to tell me. I should have told you I already knew. I was – preoccupied.”

“It was a challenging search. However, it displeases me if you were in need of a comrade and did not seek anyone out, including myself.”

Kirk shrugged. “I’m fine, Spock. The alone time gives me solace. But it is a comfort to have you nearby.”

Spock just nodded again. He had no more words to add to the conversation. He was stoic in the news of his counterpart’s passing. He held no emotional connection to the loss. But he knew Kirk did.

They sat in silence for the rest of their stay in the observation deck, staring out at the passing of space and the universe.

 _Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship_ Enterprise _. Her five year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone before._


End file.
